I clicked the ‘inspire me’ link on the ‘new post’ section. Today I feel a bit like this safe. A total rusted wreck left to deteriorate slowly over time. When it was newer it thrived and did all these things that nobody ever thought it would be able to do, it had hidden strengths and tricks that exceeded all it’s expectations. People were always so impressed. However, it was sensible and always remembered that it was a safe and that was all it would ever be, not a cupboard or wardrobe or chest of draws, just a safe. But then it started getting tired more, it had some big issues that could have left it on the rubbish heap but some ‘safe experts’ were able to help it and it bounced back. Not completely back to normal but almost. Then it happened again and it had issues in other places of it’s tired metal body and the experts jumped in again and saved it from the rubbish dump but it would never be the same again after this. It got more tired and the rust spread more and more and it was unable to do it’s job properly. Nowadays it can only do the basics and everyday is a struggle. It just wants to go back to the simple days of just being a ‘safe’!
Yeah, I ran with it a bit there and got a bit dramatic. I apologise for my depressing tone but Ive been in such a lot of pain today and It’s knackered me out so much that I’ve been dozing in and out of sleep right up until about 6pm when I had my tea (Salmon Fish Pie and veg in case you were wondering) and then I managed to stay alert and awake enough to watch ‘Vera’ and work out the killer.
There’s a reason for me doing this post, I promise, it isn’t just a moan. It’s just away of explaining how I manage to do these things I blog about. Those that read these posts will probably just think about my subtitle ‘the girl with no fingers’. You may just think that’s all I have to overcome when I decide to create something, but it isn’t, in fact that’s the easiest part to deal with in a strange way. As well as the image of this safe there is another way to describe how I can feel everyday and how I have to deal with it. Quite a few years ago now, a lady called Christine Miserandino, wrote about, and invented, something called ‘Spoon Theory’. I personally think it’s a fantastic way to describe how people with a chronic illness or disability have to deal with their day to day lives.
You can read the blog post here and find out exactly how Christine came up with the idea, however I will just give a brief explanation too for the purpose of this post (I strongly urge you to read her post too even if you read my explanation as it’s a fantastic piece in it’s own right).
Now, Spoon Theory. (I should explain first that this theory is explained using actual spoons and in this circumstance, spoons = some kind of energy) Most people, especially young people, have access to an unlimited amount of spoons but say you could only grab a handful of spoons, say you only had 10. Well that would be all you could use or ‘spend’ for the whole day. Like I said before, imagine that these spoons hold some sort of energy. As you only have 10 spoons to go about your day, you’re going to work out how to spend these spoons. So if you were me you’d have to spend 1 spoon to get out of bed, another for the toilet, another for my bath (that’s a non negotiable spoon, I have to spend that one every day) another 2 for my dressings (2 because this really drags it out of me). Then I always have a nap to try and recharge so say I manage to get 1 spoon back. So before I can even begin my day I’ve spent half my spoons. Now depending on the day I could have someone coming to see me which would use a spoon or two but if I was going to visit someone I would spend several because I’d have to think about getting in and out of the house, then the car to where I was meeting them, then the same coming back, then I’d have to think about dressings patch ups when I got home etc. The list goes on and while most people will just use 1 spoon for getting up, having a shower, getting dressed, having breakfast etc, I would need one spoon for every one of those tasks. I work on about 10-15 spoons a day (10 years ago I was working on 20-30+), sometimes less so when I actually manage to create something, I have often used several spoons before I even get to my crafting table. Sometimes I’ve ran out of spoons and just don’t have enough to create anything or to even to find any inspiration so all I do is nap, go down to the living room, sit and watch TV, go back up to my room and have more dressings done, then get in bed, spending more spoons that I may have grabbed back from resting on the coach. as I go.
I use spoons during crafting because it can hurt my legs if I have to sit in certain ways, say when I’m using the sewing machine, because I need to use my foot for powering the stitching. Sometimes my hands get sore from whatever I’m doing, especially when I’m doing beading or paper craft, anything like that can set them off.
Then again I can get a headache or my eyes get sore (that’s something else you can get with my condition but it’s not just ‘sore eyes’, that’s a whole other blog) so I need to have a break or quit it.
Anyway if you’ve made it to this part of my post then well done and thank you. I’m sorry I’ve gone on a bit but I wanted to explain why sometimes there a big gaps between crafting and posting and also just to give an insight into how I work. I’m not usually very open, I try to keep a level of anonymity on this blog but I thought this was something important.
Again, thank you for reading, there isn’t very many of you but thank you for the followers too.